A PRIMER ON LEADING DISCUSSIONS
Starting a discussion, and keeping it going…
...asking questions that get responses….
Starting a discussion-and keeping it going
Consider these 10 tips for creating a comfortable small group atmosphere– a necessary quality if you want students to enjoy participating.
1. Encourage your students to verbalize their views and feelings, however unorthodox they may be.
Nothing stifles a discussion faster than when kids don’t feel safe to say what they feel. Small groups should be a place where adolescents can be honest about what they’re thinking and feeling-no matter what’s on their minds. What students discover for themselves remains with them far longer than anything you tell them. Be slow to correct them, but instead let them think through their own responses. After your meeting, challenge unorthodox thinkers to back up what they “believe” with scripture and tell them you’d love to talk about what they discover over a milk shake etc. This is usually a better way for them to make genuine and lasting discoveries about God.
2. Be grateful for every answer.
Yes, every answer. Leaders can also stifle discussion by inadvertently making students feel silly or dumb about their responses and comments. Your job is to create a safe place for kids to say whatever they want-and be appreciated for it. Sure, if you work with 7th grade males, you’ll need to redirect gently the tangents that pop up every three minutes. (Hmmm...seventh grade males...did we say gently?) But it’s generally better to encourage freedom of speech. Your kids will trust you (and themselves) more. If you have a student who is consistently interrupting discussions with unrelated subjects/comments, spending a little extra time with the student outside small group time can help the situation.
3. Don’t be satisfied with the first response to your question.
Avoid setting a question-answer-question-answer pattern. Here’s a better way to start a discussion: Ask for several responses to your question, then provoke the speakers to dialogue with each other! That is, move them from merely answering YOU toward discussing or conversing-with each other. Start the ball rolling in this direction by asking “Why do you think that?” or “Can you “color that in for us”, or, “Can you give us an example?” - Then ask the group” What do the rest of you think?”
4. Keep the discussion moving.
A Bible study that does not move along at a good pace tends to get dull. Notice when kids are starting to lose interest, then quickly move on to the next question. If you must choose your evils, choose frustrated students who wanted to spend more time resolving an issue - not bored students who have been gradually distancing themselves from the 30 minute discussion between you and one other student. Jesus, you remember, often left questions unanswered. It helps people think for themselves.
5. Be alert to the individuals in your group.
Be aware of what’s going on with your kids as they come to your small group. Allow time in the beginning for small talk and sharing. During your Bible study, notice when a student begins speaking, but stops. Look beyond those who are monopolizing the discussion, and deliberately ask other, quieter students for their responses. You’ll never stop some personalities from standing out in your group; others will insist on staying in the
background. That’s okay. Your goal is to make every student feel that he or she is an important member of your group, whether or not each one contributes a lot to the discussion.
6. Don’t be afraid of silence.
If your question gets no immediate response from a student, don’t feel you have to jump in and answer it yourself. Let the question linger in the air for a while. And let kids know this too. In fact, silence is often an answer in itself-or can be a necessary prelude to a deeply felt response. Of course, if every question you ask is met with prolonged silence, you may want to check for understanding by rewording them. (See “Asking Questions That That Responses” in the next section).
7. Turn difficult questions back to the group.
If you’re intimidated by a student with a tough question, join the crowd! Yet that very question, tough as it may be, can give you a chance to get a lively discussion going. Don’t think you have to try to answer it-try turning the question back to the group instead: “Whoa, good question. What do the rest of you think?” You may get some wild answers, but the students will be encouraged to think for themselves rather than look to you for answers. If a question remains unresolved, now and then challenge your small group to find the answer by your next time together. (You could give a prize for motivation).
8. Let your group self-correct its tangents.
The technique of turning a question back to the group is also a remedy for wild tangents. Don’t just tell the student that he or she is wrong-ask instead, “What do the rest of you think?” Chances are as students give their input, the group will correct itself. This also encourages your students to dialogue with each other instead of directing their dialogue toward you.
9. Stay flexible to the group’s needs.
Sooner or later (usually sooner), a student will come to her small-group meeting with a specific, significant, and often immediate concern that needs to be addressed in the context of the small group. If may be an unresolved conflict between group members, a friend who wants to know more about Christ, a recent death or an impending divorce. Now is the time to put aside your agenda and deal with the issue. This shouldn’t happen every week, however. Leading a small group requires the judgment to decide when an issue is sufficiently critical that you need to deal with it instead of your planned agenda.
10. Be prepared to learn from your group.
This is sometimes the best part of leading a small group. Your preparation as well as the students’ feedback can profoundly influence your own spiritual development. Ministry breeds maturity and your ministry as a small-group mentor will nurture your spiritual life as well as the spiritual life of your students.