ASKING QUESTIONS THAT GET RESPONSES
Whether they’re personal questions, topical questions, or Bible study questions, the way you ask them can make the difference between lively small-group discussions and dead ones.
1. Avoid yes or no questions.
Stay away from questions that begin with “Is there…?” “Are they..?” or “Do you think…?” Instead ask more why or tell me what you think” questions. For starters, think about your own response to the questions in your discussion and see if they’re dead-end yes-or-no questions, or if they provoke exploration, opinions, and discussion.
2. Don’t ask questions that assume an answer.
Asking “How does Jesus show his anger in this passage?” assumes that Jesus is angry and there is a right answer you want your kids to discover. The problem with such questions is that they tell students too much without leaving students room to discover answers and insights themselves. A better question: “What is Jesus feeling in this passage? Why do you think he feels this way?” Get ready for a much more interesting discussion!
3. Write questions that are relevant to your kids.
Although your discussion questions will be provided to you for small group, don’t hesitate to write extra questions or re-word them based on what you know about the students in your care. Some good questions will spring to your mind during the meeting, but don’t rely on those. Instead spend some time thinking before the meeting-about where your kids are, what their maturity level is, what in the study is particularly relevant to your students-and thoughtfully write out additional questions. Here is an example of good vs. better questions (we’ll use the story of David & Bathsheba for our examples): Rather than asking: “What effect do you think David’s’ sin of adultery had on his life.” - ask—”What could David have done to keep from giving in to his lust for Bathsheba?” The latter is far more personal, relevant and practical for your students to discuss.
4. Learn how and when to ask direct questions.
Direct questions like “Stephanie, is Jesus the Lord of your life?” may lead to meaningful dialogue, but only with the right people at the right time. The wrong time to ask questions this direct and personal is probably the small group’s first meeting. Try the less threatening “How does Jesus become the Lord of someone’s life?” and open it up to the entire group in general instead of directing the questions to an individual. As your small group grows in trust and openness with each other, you can gradually use more direct questions to challenge your kids personally, being careful not to embarrass them at the same time.
5. Ask questions that deal with feelings as well as facts.
Your goal is to engage your students’ hearts as well as their minds. It’s usually safer to deal with issues objectively (“What sins in this list from Paul are teenagers at your school most likely to struggle with?) rather than personally (What sins in this list from Paul do you struggle with?”). Yet the longer your small group meets the deeper and more personal your questions can be. At some point, you should be able to ask “difficult” personal questions of your students.